Q & A

by David Short, Telling Stories cellist

There is an awkward question in the world of musicians.  The question in itself is not awkward; it’s quite normal and should be, in the grand scheme, asked. Questions themselves are not awkward in any way, either. They are quite normal and should be, more often than not in the grand scheme, asked more frequently then they are.  That however, is not my fault.

The Question in question is this:

“How did you get the gig?”

The Answer, incidentally, should always be the same:

“They asked me and I said yes.”

It is simple, to the point, and not nearly as exciting as it could be.  It is, regardless, always the correct Answer.

The stories that musicians use to answer the Question are generally a lot longer than that.  They involve who called whom and why.  They involve “Which excerpts did you have to play?” and “Oh, did you see the bottle of Jack on the table when you went into the audition room?”  They involve stories about phone tag on long car rides to Durango or Telluride or Steamboat Springs.  In the end, however, the Why is also always the same.  Someone is trying to fill out their requirements for a gig — show, major orchestra contract, what have you — and they ask you.  You say “yes,” and you play the gig.

Sometimes the pronouns for the Question change depending on who is doing the asking.  For example: “How did he get the gig?” spoken in a disdainful tone has an entirely different set of meanings associated with it.  It could imply that if the pronoun, he, were to suffer from the sudden and terribly debilitating hand condition “Hand in Door,” he would not be likely to receive flowers from the asker of the Question.  If he reads too much into the tone of the Question, it may lead him to thinking of spreading the equally horrid conditions of “Hand in Window” or “Really Bad Hang Nail.”  This is what is known as a “bad thing,” and is awful for both people involved.  In fact, all of this pain, anguish and mental assault becomes unnecessary if they both remember they already know the Answer.

You are probably wondering whose words you have been navigating for the last two minutes.  The answer is, “mine.”  I am David Short, the cellist from Telling Stories and I decided somewhere in the last few weeks that I would try and keep a blog going.  It would be a blog about whatever I wanted.  It would be a blog that would help me work out whatever deep-seated personal issues I have at that particular moment (aren’t you glad?).  It would probably even be a blog mostly about music.  I think I came up with this idea in that delirious state between 1 and 2 a.m.   That time when everything seems like a good idea because your brain is trying to shove the subconscious back into the box it comes in.  This idea somehow got out.

Anyway, I’ve been playing with Telling Stories for a while, and lately I’ve been trying to keep track of the musicians and essayists who are going to be recording for our Podcasts.  They will be here soon, the recordings, not the essayists and musicians.   They’ve already done their work.

Now I’m going to answer the Question that everyone may or may not be thinking of right now.

I said “yes.”